IN A HEARTBEAT

Amber James

CHAPTER ONE

Well there was a limit to how many times a pipe could be patched up! Vincent sighed, realising the struggle was in vain. There was nothing else he could do, Father would have to be told and Mouse would have to go Above to see if he could 'find' the materials they needed. Wearily, he made his way back to the upper levels of the community and on to Father's chambers.

A lone candle greeted him as he strode into the large study. A sure sign that the occupant was elsewhere. Vincent thought it strange - Father rarely left the confines of his chamber unless something was wrong! Yet there had been no word on the pipes, no summons to another part of their world. A mystery indeed! There had been too many mysterious comings and goings surrounding Father of late, Vincent was worried.

Realising there was nothing to be done in an empty chamber, Vincent left to make his way down to the `Mousehole' where his friend might be found. The journey took some time and, as his feet trod paths well-known, his mind searched out into the world Above and Catherine.

A wistful smile crossed his face as he picked up her feelings of excitement and anticipation. He had no idea what Catherine was planning to do, but whatever it was she was happy, and he desired no more than just that, her happiness.

Almost without realising, Vincent arrived in the cluttered jumble that Mouse called home. Bent over his work bench, the young man chattered away to himself engrossed in some project. Suddenly Mouse realised he was not alone, he looked round impatiently, his anxious face softening with a smile as he saw his visitor.

"Vincent!"

"Good evening Mouse. I did not wish to disturb you but I may need your assistance."

"Help..... yes..........with what?" Mouse seemed pleased.

"The piping from the base of the falls to the kitchen is fast becoming impossible to repair. It needs replacing." Vincent told him.

"So?"

Vincent smiled. "We need a new length. I was wondering if you could help?"

Without a word, the young man began gathering his things together, his heavy jacket and his bag, he always took them when he went Above. He reached out and laid his hand on Vincent's arm.

"How big?" was all he asked.

"Two lengths, about this big." His hands indicated the size he would need.

"Mouse size!" The young man exclaimed.

Vincent's smile became a wide grin as he nodded his agreement "Yes, Mouse size.

Mouse moved to leave the chamber. Vincent caught his arm.

"Mouse, be careful and don't take any unnecessary risks. Father would never forgive me if you were caught on an errand for me."

"I know dark places too........ good places to hide, won't get caught. Father won't know..... gone Above too."

"Father?" Vincent questioned.

"Father.... gone Above three... no four nights."

Now Vincent was worried. Father never went Above and Mouse was making it quite clear that this had become a regular occurrence of late.

"Do you know where he has gone?"

"Above...That's all!" Mouse sounded annoyed - it was obvious he was eager to be off.

Vincent knew he could detain him no longer, so he bade him take care once more, then watched him scamper off into the darkness.

Slowly retracing his steps, Vincent made his way back to Father's chamber to await the wanderers return.

*****

It was almost 11 when Vincent heard the unmistakable sound of Father's walk nearing the study. Closing the book he had been reading, Vincent rose from the chair. Father limped in wearily and stopped as he saw his son.

"Er.... I didn't expect to find you here Vincent."

"But I did expect to find you here Father?" he said with a definite question in his tone.

"Er.... I had something to attend to," came the hesitant answer.

"Above?"

"Yes Above." There was an edge to his voice that clearly told Vincent that his father didn't like his questioning.

Not wanting to anger his father, Vincent changed the subject and told him of the problems he had experienced with the piping and explained that Mouse had gone to see if he could locate what they needed.

Father was not pleased that Vincent had allowed, no sent, Mouse above on such a dangerous errand. They argued about it and eventually, with little resolved, Vincent made his way back to his chamber, but he could not settle. Knowing Catherine had not yet settled for the night, Vincent made his way Above and to her balcony.

Just as he was about to knock on the French windows he saw her move across his line of vision. Although she was wearing her bath robe, her make up and hairdo made it clear she had been out somewhere. Vincent realised her night out had produced the feelings he had experienced earlier, and he was pleased that, at last, she was taking a little time for herself.

Catherine's face turned to the windows as she became aware of his presence. Within moments she was through the doors and in his arms.

"Vincent! I didn't expect to see you tonight. I thought you had something pressing to do?" she told him.

"I needed to talk Catherine."

"Is something wrong?" she asked the concern clear in her anxious voice.

"I do not know. Father has been Above tonight, Mouse tells me this is not the first time of late," the soft whisper informed her.

"Oh, I shouldn't worry Vincent. Father's quite capable of taking care of himself."

He was a little surprised at Catherine's dismissive attitude. When he tried to pursue the problem further, she merely changed the subject. Clearly, she was not concerned and he began to wonder if he were over-reacting. Eventually, she suggested they have a drink. He agreed and they went inside.

As Catherine busied herself in the kitchen, she marvelled at the easy way Vincent settled himself into the deep cushions of her couch. She thought back to the days when he found it impossible to cross that threshold into the privacy of her apartment. It had taken her almost three years to convince him that he was welcome in her home, and now he was here with the one problem she couldn't let him dwell on. The last thing she wanted him to know was why Father was spending so much time in the world Above.

Carrying the drinks into the lounge, she took her place by his side. Sharing a few moments of quiet contentment, they silently drank their tea. When they had finished she took the cup from him and returned them to the kitchen, then putting the new Dvorak disc she had bought on to play, she resumed her place by his side, snuggling up to him. They listened in silence, caught up in the magic of the music and each other. When, at almost 1:30, the music stopped, Vincent rose.

"You must rest now Catherine, you have to be awake early in the morning. I have delayed you too long."

She was about to protest, but knew it would do no good, so she smiled at him. "Yes....... I'm in court all day. When will I see you again?"

"Perhaps not for a few days, if Mouse finds the piping I need........ ? Saturday night I think, quite late. Will you come Below or would it be better if I came to you?"

Catherine reached up and kissed his cheek, "I'll come Below if you're going to be working that late. So shall we say about 11?"

"Until Saturday at 11 then." Vincent told her as he turned and walked through the French windows and out into the night.

*****

The days came and went as Catherine fought her case in court and Vincent struggled to repair the outdated water system.

Saturday lunch time arrived to find Vincent finished far earlier than he had expected. He washed and changed, growing restless with each passing hour. Around six o'clock he wandered into Fathers chamber to find his father dressed to go Above.

"Going Above again Father?"

"Yes..... I have an errand there..... er...... Have you finished already Vincent?"

The repairs are completed, I came to see if you had eaten yet......" Vincent said.

"Yes.... some time ago...... You go along to the kitchen and get something ... I have to go now." Father was through the doorway almost before he had finished speaking.

Vincent began to make his way to the kitchen, then thought better of it. Father's behaviour was worrying, how could he settled to his dinner? He knew Catherine was in her apartment and, although she had not taken his concerns seriously before, he would talk this over with her. Vincent was not expecting Catherine to make an appearance Below much before 11, as she expected him to be working until then, but he could feel how excited she was. It pleased him to know she was happy at the thoughts of spending time with him.

Soon Vincent found himself on her balcony. He was just about to walk to the French windows when he heard her talking to someone. Shock registered within him as he realised the other voice was Father's. Silently he moved to peer through the windows, and found himself hardly able to believe the scene before him.

Catherine was wearing an evening gown of burgundy velvet. Tight bodiced, low necked and full skirted, it displayed the lean and elegant lines of her body. She looked so beautiful, he was mesmerised. As he watched and listened, the scene played on. Father walked, almost casually into the bedroom, opened the wardrobe and took out a tuxedo and trousers, which he changed into. Then he moved into the bathroom, it was obvious he knew his way around the apartment, that he was familiar with the layout.

When he returned to the lounge, Catherine beamed at him. "You look wonderful Father." Catherine announced "But I'll have to remember to call you Jacob tonight, we don't want any questions to be asked do we?"

"No we certainly don't. There are enough questions being asked Below. We will have to be very careful Catherine. I think there is a chance we will be discovered if not." Father told her.

"Do you think Vincent suspects anything?" she asked.

"No not yet........... but how long we will be able to keep this from him is another matter."

She sighed "I hope he doesn't find out, that would spoil everything. He mustn't find out this has got to remain a secret. It's got to!"

Father put his arm around her shoulders "We will just have to try harder my dear. I thought I had given him enough work to keep him out of the way, but......."

"It's been so hard keeping my feelings from him, but I'm determined.... he's not going to discover our secret."

Father made a point of looking at his watch "We really should be going my dear, or we will be late."

"Yes come on let's go......... do I look okay"

"You look beautiful, as you have done each time. I shall be very proud to be seen with you Catherine, believe me, very proud."

They left the apartment in darkness, not knowing a shocked and bewildered Vincent stood watching as they hailed a taxi in the street, eighteen floors beneath him.

As the bright yellow cab pulled away from the curb Vincent retreated from the balcony's edge until his back met the brick work. Dragging in deep lungfulls of air, he slid slowly down the wall to sit in a shaking heap on the floor.

His mind played the exchange he had witnessed over and over again, like some tape recorder looping the same ribbon continually. Still he could not take it in, did not want to acknowledge the possibilities he agonised over. However, there were things he had seen and heard that would not be denied. It had become obvious that Father had been going Above to see Catherine, to spend time with her. He even had clothing in her apartment! And, wherever they were going, it was not to drop in on some friend or helper for a chat. They were definitely going out together for the night. Jacob Wells was taking Catherine out, and Vincent could only conclude it was somewhere he himself could not take her, and this had been going on, in secret, for some time.

Slowly, he made his way back Below, his feet taking him deeper into the labyrinth of their own accord. Finally he found himself sitting on the old stone staircase, head in hands, agonising over his next move.

Words, phrases haunted him "He's not going to find out" "You look beautiful, as you have done each time".

Yet she had hidden all this from him, deliberately hidden it, and now he began to understand why. What a fool he had been. How he berated himself for having been so blind. This was all his own fault, this was the result of his inability to be to Catherine all she needed him to be.

There were so many times, of late, that Catherine had exchanged harsh words with Vincent. There had been anger and bitterness between them. Strong emotions fed by other feelings, which he had refused to acknowledge. Catherine had made it quite clear that she could not accept his insistence that for them, a physical love was not possible.

He had felt the urgent need of her body for his own, calling to him, demanding more from him than he was prepared to give. As he thought back over recent events, many instances of quiet, knowing glances between Father and Catherine came into his mind.

He even recalled the notes she had passed in a secretive manner, which he had not given a second thought to at the time. Now it all began to make sense. Catherine was a warm and passionate woman, she had found it impossible to live within the boundaries he had placed on their relationship, and he could not blame her. His heart felt as lead within his body and his soul mourned. Yet even in his pain and anguish, he desired only her happiness and resolved not to stand in her way.

He would never have considered a union between Catherine and Father as a possibility, but fate always seemed to have a way of turning up the strangest of bedfellows. If she could be happy and fulfilled, have the 'happy life' she sought with Jacob Wells, he would not stand in her way.

Now his only thought was to make it easy for them both, without letting them know he had discovered the secret they guarded so closely.

It was almost 10:30 when Vincent returned to his chamber to await Catherine, and the future of heartrending emptiness she would bring with her.

*****

Catherine almost ran along the tunnels. She was a little later than she had planned and knew Vincent would be concerned. The last thing she wanted was for him to begin asking questions as to why she was late. As far as Vincent knew, she had been in her apartment all night. How could she begin to explain that she and Father had been caught in a traffic snarl up and it had delayed them.

Before she reached his chamber the familiar shape came around the bend ahead of her.

"Vincent! You didn't have to come and meet me, I know how you push yourself when there's manual work to be completed. You must be tired."

"I finished early and felt the need to walk, so here I am."

Looping her arm through his she asked "Well, what have you been doing?"

"Repairing pipes, as I explained, and you? What have you been doing whilst my work has kept us apart?"

Vincent noticed how she looked away from him "Oh, nothing much. Apart from work I've not done anything really."

"You should go out more Catherine." he told her as he gazed at her.

Unable to look him in the face and lie, she evaded the obvious question in his remarks.

"Oh I get out when I want to. I'd rather be here with you Vincent."

She seemed very interested in the floor of the passage, at least that was the direction she fixed her eyes. Catherine had never found it easy to lie to Vincent, he had such an honest, trusting soul. How she hated this deception, yet how could she tell him the truth? No, that confession would spoil everything she and Father had fought to protect.

Catherine was a little taken aback when Vincent led her away from the main living areas and she gave him a questioning glance.

"There is something I have to tell you, and I would prefer to tell you in private," she was told.

Not another word was exchanged as they continued their walk. Vincent's pain was making polite conversation impossible. Catherine's worries that perhaps he had discovered her secret kept her silent. Eventually, they arrived at the Whispering Gallery and they stopped on the small ledge.

Vincent walked out into the centre of the old bridge, but Catherine stayed where she was. This was one of the few fears she had, this bridge, or rather the vast gap beneath it. The chasm seemed to go down forever, and the bridge creaked and swayed in the gentle movements of the air which flowed through the chamber. Soft slivers of sound filtered through the emptiness to collide and merge around them. Vincent looked directly at her.

"All the sounds of the city meet here Catherine. All the joys and the sorrows of your world force themselves into mine at this one point. Sometimes I stand here and wonder."

"What Vincent? Tell me," she pleaded.

"I wonder if one of those voices I hear belongs to someone who could give you all I cannot."

Catherine smiled. "No Vincent the voice I want to listen to for the rest of my life is here Below, not Above."

"Yes." he murmured almost to himself.

"What did you want to tell me?" she asked changing the subject, unsure as to where the previous one was leading.

"I am going away for a while," he said, almost in a whisper.

"What do you mean? Where are you going?"

Sighing, he turned away from her to look down into the depths beneath him.

"The more I work on the water systems we have, the more convinced I become that we need to seek a new supply. I plan to travel to another part of our world to seek the source of a river we could divert and use."

"When are you going?"

"Tonight."

Catherine was lost for words. Father had not told her anything about this and she wondered why. It would certainly help their conspiracy, even if only for a few days it would give them some breathing space. Yet..... why hadn't he told her before?

"Oh I see," was all she managed.

All the way back to the main living area, Vincent battled with the pain inside. Lying to Catherine had not been easy, but he needed to get away and think things through. He could not tell her that he knew of her relationship with the man he had called father all his life. He could not tell her how much he loved her, and how his heart was breaking with the impact of the night's revelations. So he lied and felt guilty at his deceit.

It was past midnight when Vincent suggested they call and see if Father was still awake before Catherine left for home. As they entered the cluttered study, a single candle illuminated the darkness and revealed the hunched shape in the chair. Their entrance disturbed Father's dozing and he woke with a start.

"Ah, Catherine, Vincent, what are you doing here at this late hour?"

She smiled, "Vincent suggested I come and say goodnight before I return Above."

You're not staying Below?" Father questioned.

"No. Vincent has some 'adventure' planned, he's leaving tonight. So I'm returning Above."

The older man rubbed the sleep from his eyes "Why? Where are you going Vincent?

“If you are still awake, I will return once I have led Catherine back home."

A nod of agreement was the only answer Vincent received. But as Catherine walked over to the chair and bent to place a kiss on his father's forehead, he clearly heard her whisper "Seven" and the sharp pain laced through him once more.

As Vincent was eager to return to Father to explain his sudden journey, the pace through the tunnels was not the leisurely stroll usually taken and they arrived at the basement entrance within a short time.

"How long will you be away?" Catherine asked as he turned to leave after a brief hug.

"Four, five days. Perhaps a week. It is difficult to say."

"But you'll be back for your birthday? The children will be so disappointed if you're not. they've been planning and making things for weeks!"

"I know. I shall be back in time," he said sadly. "But I must go now, Father is waiting for me."

"Yes," she said simply.

Without another word Vincent turned, and was gone. Catherine spent a restless night in her bed, she woke continually with un-named worries fluttering away inside her. Had he found out she wondered? Even if he had, this was not the reaction she would have expected from him. Catherine couldn't begin to guess how he would react if her secret was discovered, but she doubted he would walk away from her as she knew he was doing now.

She had to talk to Father about it, perhaps they would have to 'come clean' and bring the whole thing out into the open. She tried once again to push the nagging thoughts away and hoped for some sleep in what was left of the night.

CHAPTER TWO

The night could not come quickly enough for Catherine. She awaited Father's arrival with impatience. So many emotions flooded through her it was difficult to sort them into some coherent pattern. Every time she looked at the clock mere moments had passed, although she could have sworn it was hours.

At last, punctual as ever, the knock sounded on the door, telling her that her long-awaited guest had arrived. Hastily she let him into the apartment and took his coat.

"Something is wrong with Vincent." she announced.

"I had guessed as much." Father said. "Do you think he has found out?"

"I don't know," she answered wearily "But he wouldn't react like this if he had."

Father sat down "Then I have no idea what can be wrong. I had assumed the problem was between the two of you, so I didn't interfere. I know you've both been going through a difficult time."

"If only it were that simple," Catherine said almost to herself "No.... this is serious, whatever's wrong, it's not anything I'm aware of."

"Then we have to engage in some deductive thinking," he told her.

"Some what?"

"Deductive thinking. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's character Sherlock Holmes always said that if you rule out everything which is impossible, than whatever you're left with must be the answer, no matter how improbable it seems. Perhaps that is what we should do."

Catherine took a seat opposite. "Okay, where do we start?"

Father took a deep breath. "Well are we both agreed it's not the fact that he's found out the reason for all the secrecy?"

"It can't be. Vincent's hurt and upset, the fact that we're having a portrait of you and me done as a surprise birthday gift can't be causing him so much grief," she agreed.

Hesitant he asked "And the .... er ..... personal problems? Could things have got worse without you knowing it?"

Suddenly, Catherine realised Father didn't know the cause of the recent tension between them. "Vincent hasn't talked to you about the problems we're working through?"

"No."

Catherine sighed "Then perhaps it's time one of us did. This relationship Vincent and I share...... is purely a ... well, a platonic one. And that situation is becoming far from satisfactory. One day I hope he will be able to put his fears aside and ask me to marry him."

Father went to speak but Catherine held up her hand silencing him.

"I don't know if you approve of the fact that we both need more than friendship, or that my dearest wish is to spend the rest of my life here Below with him........ I don't want to know. The strain is beginning to take its toll on me and on Vincent. I don't know how long we can continue when Vincent will not face and overcome his fears."

Shaking his head Father replied "Then perhaps that is the root of his present attitude. The expedition was an excuse, we both know that, perhaps he needed time to think things through."

"And when he returns?"

"When he returns he may have resolved his fears, there is no way to guess. Vincent doesn't tell me everything Catherine, in fact he doesn't tell me much at all. Vincent has always been a very private person, he keeps his worries and fears to himself and I have wished, so many times in the past, he could find it easier to share the things he agonises over." Father said sadly.

"Catherine he may just need time and patience. And I am not surprised to know you want to live Below, with my son.... I've been expecting it, I suppose."

"Then I'm going to have to try a little harder to be patient." she told him.

"We both are, my dear. We both are."

With nothing else to say on the subject, the conversation turned to generalities and Father left around 9:00 to return Below. Catherine felt the knot of impatience deep inside her, but she pushed it away determined to give Vincent the time and space he needed. However, she was pleased that at last he was considering the future of their relationship and not pushing the questions and the answers away in the back of his mind.

Beneath her, underground in the darkness, Vincent was indeed giving a great deal of thought to their future, but not in the way Catherine expected. Alone in the inky blackness Vincent sat, the small lantern merely a pinprick of illumination in the vast ebon waste. So empty inside, that even tears refused to flow, his mind tortured itself with the loss of everything he held dear. Yet there was no hesitation in his heart, Catherine's happiness was all that mattered.

Sleeping fitfully as exhaustion overtook him, the hours became days, time passing almost uncounted, without food or rest. Four or five days passed in this agony of spirit when Vincent finally decided to seek out Narcissa.

*****

Vincent heard Narcissa's call before he rounded the bend to take him to her chamber.

"Vincent! You'se a long way from home."

"I need to speak to you," he said simply.

"Then speak child, what is it you seek?" Narcissa replied.

"I seek what all men seek Narcissa..... answers," the soft voice told her.

"Ah yes, Vincent...... but are you sure you ask the right questions?"

"If only I knew," he sighed "Father has been going Above to see Catherine. He is taking her out...... I have seen them together.... I cannot demand my happiness at the cost of hers. If Father can offer her the life I cannot, I should step aside. My reason tells me this, but my heart will not let her go."

Narcissa shook her head "Catherine and the Father?"

"Yes.... if I had not seen them together with my own eyes........." Vincent's voice broke with emotion, and a gloved hand wiped away a silent tear.

"You think their destiny is together?" she asked.

"Perhaps," he whispered.

"And where has this revelation come from? Your reason or your heart Vincent?"

“Even my reasoning is filled with confusion and agony, in my heart there is only the pain of unanswered questions."

Then perhaps your reason is not to be trusted. Perhaps you need to move through the clouds of pain in your heart and seek the questions before you attempt to find the answers."

"And when I have found the questions, where do I seek the answers?" he pleaded.

"In your heart Vincent, and in Catherine's heart. It takes strength and courage to seek knowledge and understanding. You must lay aside your deepest fears, those you refuse to face. The paths you are to tread may be unknown and unexpected.Your destiny may lie in accepting the unacceptable," she said softly as she turned and walked out of the chamber.

Vincent felt no clearer in his mind, but knew Narcissa would say no more, so with much yet unresolved he made his way back to his family.

*****

There were just three days left to Vincent's birthday and the world Below was a hive of activity. As soon as the word went out along the pipes that Vincent had been seen in the upper levels, Father sent a message to Catherine. By the time Vincent arrived in his chamber she was there waiting, even though the hour was late.

Vincent could sense Catherine Below, he could also sense her unease and wondered if this were a result of his return. Soundlessly, he walked into the chamber to find her sitting in his chair, book in hand, pretending to read. He knew her thoughts were far from the book she was reading, the peaceful calm which was always present when she read was missing. In its place was a confusion and a concern as deep as his own.

Turning everything over in her mind made it impossible for her to sense his presence. He stood behind her in the doorway gazing at her in wonder, she was so beautiful. Reluctant to tear himself away from the sheer pleasure of just looking at her, he did not move.

Finally, Catherine became aware that she was not alone, and turned.

"Vincent!" her eyes danced as she spoke his name. "You're home!"

"Yes."

"I have missed you so much." She rose, crossed the room expecting him to take her into his arms, but he did not.

"I have missed you Catherine," was all he said, then "I came to leave my cloak here before I informed Father that I have returned. Will you come with me?"

Catherine only nodded, feeling bewildered, then almost hurt as he led the way to Father's study without even touching her.

As they entered the study, Father could sense the strained atmosphere between them. He looked at Catherine, she gently shook her head, a gesture not missed by Vincent. They were welcomed warmly, and Catherine took a seat in the chair she was offered, whilst Vincent stood behind her. As he had said, Vincent informed Father that his journey had not proved fruitful and he would need to make another foray into the unknown depths at a later date. Before any conversation could develop, Vincent suggested some refreshments for the three of them and left for the kitchen.

"Well?" Father asked, when he was sure his son was out of earshot.

"Nothing seems to have been resolved. He is keeping a distance between us, more than before," she replied sadly.

"I'm sure he just needs time. Physically, he appears to be well, but..........?"

"But emotionally?" she ventured.

"Emotionally, not so satisfactory. Vincent always finds it difficult to come to terms with deep emotional feelings. Believe me Catherine, this is nothing new."

"You mean he's been like this before?"

Father lowered his head. "Not as severely withdrawn as this...... but.... yes he has."

"When!" she demanded.

"Oh....a few times. He was affected quite dramatically when you returned above after we had nursed you back to health. At first, it was barely discernible but....... as time passed..... it became almost impossible to live with him. One day he disappeared. He was missing for over a week. When he came back he announced he intended to seek you out Above. It was a very worrying time for all of us. We feared the Vincent we knew would never return to us. In time, he did."

Catherine looked surprised. "I didn't know."

"He'll find his way back to you again Catherine, I have no doubt of that."

Suddenly, Father changed the subject, and she clearly felt Vincent near. As he walked through the opening into the chamber, Father glanced up at him, mid sentence, and she could not fail to notice the tears misting the older man's eyes.

"Ah Vincent........ tea........thank you."

Vincent placed the tray on the large desk and the time was spent in discussing the day to day problems of the world Below. Father did most of the talking as the young couple drifted in and out of the conversation lost, at times, in their own concerns and worries.

Catherine had decided to step back a little and give Vincent the space she mistakenly felt he needed. Vincent also made the decision to withdraw, but his reason was to give Father and Catherine the time and encouragement he believed would help their relationship.

Eventually, the time came for Catherine to leave. Vincent walked her back to the basement entrance. She lingered, hopeful that he would hold her, would give her some reassurance, but he stood well away from her against the wall. Catherine knew the next move had to be hers or dawn would find them apart but unable to say goodbye.

Swiftly, she moved towards him, Vincent tried to back away, but there was nowhere to go. Her arms wrapped around his waist and she leaned into the width of his chest. The hesitancy in the arms which encircled her reminded her, so achingly, of the first time he had bid her goodbye on this spot, the night he had brought her home, the night she thought never to see him again.

The sadness in this parting was just as then. Catherine didn't want to go, Vincent was loathe to let her. Yet he knew he could not offer her the happiness she sought, but there was another who could.

"Catherine........ you should go now," the agonised whisper came.

"Vincent....... please....." she began.

He placed a finger on the soft full lips, silencing any words she might say. But it did not silence the pounding of his heart nor the unease of his spirit. With a heavy heart she did as he had asked. Vincent watched her go, angry that he had lost her through his own insecurity.

Slowly, he trod the pathway home, his heart heavy, his resolve still as firm as ever.  Once he reached his chamber, he retired for the night. Sleep eluded him, as he thought back on all they had shared, until, at last, only the thoughts of what they could have become filled his mind. Why had he not trusted in their love, as Catherine had? Why had he not been able to leave his fears behind in the past, where they truly belonged? Why had he refused to accept that he could be the lover Catherine needed? So many questions! Questions without answers. Had Narcissa been right, she usually was? Had he been asking the wrong questions?

Suddenly, the revelation came to him. There was only one question to be asked, the question of love. Vincent understood at last, if he loved Catherine enough to let her go, then he loved her enough to risk everything. Why had he not seen this before?  Catherine was not afraid, she had never been afraid of his love. Only he had doubted. Now he would pay the price, for the rest of his life.

CHAPTER THREE

Vincent and Catherine didn't see each other until the night of his birthday. Father had sent him away on an errand, to give them the time to get the portrait Below and hung in the Great Hall.

Father and Catherine stood looking up at the painting, as it hung next to the one Kristopher Gentian had left for Catherine. In each she wore burgundy velvet, yet the two were remarkably different. Kristopher's painting spoke clearly of possession, desire and an intensity which was breathtaking. The other was just as beautiful, full of warmth and gentleness.

"I do hope Vincent likes it." she said.

"I'm sure he will." Father told her. "Now I think it's time we both got ready."

They left the Great Hall and made their way back to the main living area.

*****

By seven o'clock everyone began to make their way to the Great Hall for the party. Vincent had been asked to meet Father and Catherine in Father's chamber and as he neared, he heard the conspiratorial whispers.

As he entered the study, a sudden hush descended. It was obvious he had interrupted some secret conversation. He decided to ignore it. Asking questions might have produced answers he didn't want to hear.

The three of them made their way along the dimly-lit passages and down the stone staircase to the Great Hall. The doors were shut, but not barred and Vincent opened  them with ease to lead them into the darkness. One by one lights appeared around him.

With everyone shouting 'Happy Birthday', he couldn't help but be pleased with this show of affection from his family. The large old chair waited for him and he sat ready for the ritual, which always accompanied birthdays, to begin.

Each member of the community had a gift for him, gifts which had obviously taken thought and effort. The gifts from the adults were practical and useful. Whereas the children's gifts were of such a variety that they were a wonder to all. Vincent found it difficult, at times, to guess to what purpose he was supposed to put them to. But they were all given and received in love.

"What has Catherine bought you?" Samantha asked.

Before Vincent could reply Father cut in to the conversation. "Samantha, Vincent is far too busy admiring your wonderful presents to even notice the gift Catherine and I have for him."

A puzzled look crossed Vincent's face as he looked up at Father and Catherine. He looked around thinking that perhaps he had missed a parcel amongst so many. But no, there was none he could see unopened.

Catherine leaned forwards and kissed him on the cheek.

"Happy birthday, Vincent," she said, pointing up to the picture she and Father had hung that afternoon.

"Yes, happy birthday, Vincent," Father joined in.

Now it was Catherine's turn to look puzzled as she watched the face of the man she loved. The blue eyes filled with tears. He turned to look first at Father, then fixed and held Catherine's eyes.

"I had no idea........" He could say no more.

Father patted him on the shoulder, but Vincent's gaze never left hers.

"Now you know why I've been sneaking up Above, why we didn't want you to find out what I was doing up there."

Catherine whispered. "If you had discovered our secret, it would have ruined the surprise."

Vincent tore his eyes away from Catherine's and lowered his gaze to the floor. Tears of joy, of relief, of heartache that he had been so wrong, came unbidden. She knelt on the floor between his knees and, with a slender, loving hand she lifted his face level with her own. The love she met in his gaze left her shaken and stunned. For what seemed an eternity, neither moved, wordless emotions pouring from one to the other.

Whispered so softly Catherine almost missed it, Vincent told her, "I love you."

Catherine was startled by the declaration after the past weeks of soul searching. But she recognised the truth in his words as her own heart sent its silent reply. The quiet moment of magic was interrupted by the music as the celebrations commenced.

Everyone stood waiting, their inaction demanding that Vincent and Catherine should be the couple to start the dancing.

He stood, towering above her then, reaching for her hand, he lifted her to her feet and led her into the centre of the room.

Settling into his arms, Catherine felt giddy and breathless. She began to sense a change in Vincent, in the way he held her. His hold was gentle as always, yet there was an intimacy she had not felt before, and she revelled in the possession she sensed within it.

For almost three hours they danced. Round and round they waltzed, her mind spinning with the music, she pressed her body closer and his grip tightened. Finally, all the pent up emotions Catherine had hidden burst from the boundaries she had made. They poured forth in a wild tidal wave, flowing through her and washing Vincent in the force of her desire and passion. As the full force hit him, Catherine watched, unable to believe what she saw. Vincent threw his head back, a look of triumph on his face, his acceptance clear and sure. Her mind refused to believe what her heart knew, that she had offered him her passion and he had gloried in its force.

His head close to hers, Vincent whispered, "Yes Catherine," and her legs suddenly refused to support her, but Vincent held her and then led her to a chair.

Father hurried over, concern written clearly on his face. "Catherine are you all right?"

She beamed at him. "Yes Father I just felt a little faint that's all. Don't worry," she told him, then with emphasis, "Everything's fine."

A smile of understanding passed between them. "I'm glad to hear it is," Father replied.

"So am I Father......... so am I," she agreed.

Soon the colour returned to her cheeks, and the intense joy of Vincent's acceptance filled her soul. His hand held hers, unwilling to break the contact between their bodies for even a moment. Catherine gave Vincent's hand a gentle squeeze expecting him to return it, he did not. Slowly, in front of everyone, he lifted her hand to his mouth and tenderly kissed its palm.

Again, Catherine was shaken. This was unusual behaviour indeed from Vincent, and she trembled slightly. No one saw her reaction, but Vincent felt it clearly and marvelled that the touch of his mouth could bring such a response from Catherine.

"Would you care for some refreshment Catherine?" he offered.

"No......thank you......, " she answered, gazing around the huge hall. She noticed that the crowd was beginning to thin as people began to feel the pull of their beds. Some, witnessing the intimate exchange had left quietly, others waited to bid Vincent goodnight. They came to him now, family and friends, each with wishes for a year of peace and joy, each with their own special reasons for the place Vincent held in their hearts. Eventually, few were left and they were busy with the task of clearing the chamber of the remains of party trappings, supervised by William.

Vincent retrieved Catherine's coat from the corner of the room and offered it to her  "Time to go Catherine," he stated.

Accepting it without a second thought, Catherine wrapped herself in its folds, an adequate protection from the chill of the tunnels they were to walk. Bidding her farewells to William and those who had stayed to help him, she followed Vincent up the wooden staircase and out into the passage. Her hand reached for his as they walked through the dim tunnels together.

This, usually, innocent meeting of their bodies took on very different overtones as his thumb moved in a gentle caress across the back of her hand. They walked in silence, communicating within the depth of their souls, a place where language ceases to have meaning, where thought dies and is no more.

Catherine felt such elation, such joy. The night had been one of the happiest she had known. His words of love came back to her and she knew their relationship had begun the inevitable change.

All too soon, they arrived at the threshold which would return her to her own world. Vincent let her hand go and stood leaning against the wall, gazing at her with eyes which shone and sparkled. Moving to him, she reached up and kissed him gently on the cheek.

"I love you." she told him softly.

Almost before she realised ot, his arms encircled and held her, but not as before. Their strength held her against him so tightly, as if he wanted to draw her body into himself, to be a part of him, as she longed to be.

"Catherine........." he whispered.

Vincent's head bowed and she waited for the touch of his lips on her forehead. As his mouth brushed against her soft skin it lingered, then moved across and down onto her cheek. Catherine wound her fingers in his hair, expecting him to pull away at any moment and she was unwilling to lose the magic of his lips on her skin. Never breaking the contact his mouth moved to her lips and she held her breath. As his mouth closed over hers she could hold back no longer. He reeled at her reaction as, greedily, her lips demanded more and he surrendered to the overwhelming need to respond.

They parted breathless, their smiles of joy turning to laughter. Yet beneath the seemingly casual amusement, deeper desires ran and each recognised the unmet needs in the other. They stood now, close together, but not touching. Vincent reached out a hand to brush its soft furred back against her cheek and down her neck. Catherine shuddered.

"Please Vincent...... don't! You must know what I'm feeling............."

"Oh I do," came the soft reply. "I always know, but tonight I cannot deny those feelings as I have done in the past."

"So, you have been thinking things through while you've been away?"

“More than you could ever know Catherine."

He reached for her again, holding her as tightly as before. Then his hands began to caress her back as she leaned against his chest.

"Vincent?" she said "You do realise where this is leading?"

"Yes."

"And your worries, your fears," she persisted. "What of them?"

He moved his head, his lips seeking hers again. Between the hungry kisses they exchanged he murmured, "Oh Catherine, I thought I had lost you!"

She pulled back. "Lost me! What an earth are you talking about? It was you who went away from me!"

"I needed to try and sort things out in my mind. I have made a dreadful mistake."

"About what?" she demanded.

He drew in a deep breath, then, "One night I came Above to see you. When I arrived on your balcony, I found you were not ....... alone. Father was with you, both of you spoke of the secret you didn't want me to discover........."

"The portrait?"

"Yes, the portrait......But I knew nothing of that. I saw the two of you dressed to go out. I heard you discussing how dreadful it would be if I found out. Father had been so secretive, you had told me you had remained at home all evening......... when I had seen you go off in a taxi together....... My mind conjured up pictures which tore my soul in shreds......."

His meaning suddenly became clear. "You thought that Father and I were............, were........"

"Yes Catherine. I believed he could give you all the things I could not, would not give."

She couldn't resist laughing at the picture of her and Father involved in some secret love affair. Vincent looked hurt at her reaction, his pain took the laughter from her lips and her eyes.

"Vincent.....how could you? There can never be anyone else for me. Why do you think there has been all this tension between us for so long? I can't accept anyone's love but yours, you must know that! If you can't overcome your fears and love me as I need you to, then I shall probably live and die a frustrated old maid!"

He looked shocked at her words, but said nothing.

"Oh that surprises you does it? It may be blunt Vincent, but it's the truth. Haven't you got the message yet? You tried to push me into Elliot's bed - that didn't work! So you start pairing Father and me off. Anything not to have to face up to the fact that it's you I want!" she was annoyed now.

"But I have faced it Catherine......... at last." he said with a deep sigh.

There was nothing she could say. Catherine had spent hours rehearsing what she would say when the moment of truth finally dawned on him, but now it was here words eluded her.

When, in the silence, he kissed her again, there was no hesitant exploration, only a demanding exchange and she joyously surrendered to him. As the long textured tongue found its way over her small white teeth, she gasped at the surety of his possession.

Then she realised one of his hands had moved and rested gently on her breast. Catherine was fast losing control of the situation and of her own body. So many times she had lived this moment in her thoughts, her dreams. She had planned a gentle, soft seduction in the warm comfort of her apartment, all for nought. At last, he was going to make love to her, here in a cold draughty tunnel, and it was heaven. Tenderly, he lowered her to the floor, and it felt the softest, most comfortable place on earth.

He lay by her side, gathering her to himself, his hands finding their way beneath her dress to trail soft lines of fire along her thighs. Hers moved over layers of clothing, to find their way to the fastenings of his trousers, removing the cloth which separated her from his hardening flesh.

As she touched him, intimately, lovingly, caressing and stimulating, he moaned. His breathing was heavy now as his fingers longed for the access her underwear denied him. Catherine tugged, with her free hand, at the offending silk, removing the obstacle for him. Rolling over, he pinned her beneath him and she held her breath waiting for the feel of him within her body. The demanding thrust took her breath away, then he moved forcefully within her. The celibacy they had both endured had taken its toll and within moments their shared climax threw them hurtling into the void, holding them suspended there, before finally releasing them to slowly sink back to reality.

They lay unmoving, unthinking, glorying in the wonder of the moment and each other. When he moved, at last, to lie by her side, there were tears in his eyes.

He stared at the ceiling, somewhere in the darkness above them, running his fingers lightly up and down her arm. Catherine raised herself on her elbow, so much in her heart, so much to share, yet she knew no words could tell him how she felt. He knew, he had shared every moment, every pleasure, every need he had met.

Catherine rose to her feet and walked back the way they had come. Vincent sat, leaning against the wall, alone in the darkness, puzzled by Catherine's actions. Then a smile spread across his face as he heard the clear message on the pipes. ` Vincent is safe..... with me......may not be back for some hours..... Catherine.'

When she returned to him, she found him still on the floor, his back against the rock, his head lowered. Kneeling in front of him she raised his head, to be greeted with a smile, the like of which she had never seen, not from Vincent.

"How soon can you get to my balcony?" she asked.

"In a heartbeat." he whispered.

"Make it two," he was told. as she turned and walked into the shaft of light which separated his world from her own.

CHAPTER FOUR

Rushing up to her apartment, Catherine prayed he hadn't changed his mind. As she opened the door her eyes flew to the French windows, and the breath she had been unconsciously holding was released as she saw him waiting.

Opening the doors, she threw herself into his arms, where he held her suspended above the floor. Vincent walked into the apartment and set her down on the floor, and turned to close out the chill night air.

Removing her coat she walked into the bedroom to hang it in the closet, she switched on the bedside lamp then disappeared into the bathroom. When she returned, Catherine found Vincent sitting on the side of the bed looking rather shy and uncomfortable. As he raised his eyes, he saw she was wearing only her bath robe, her clothing having been left in a tangled heap on the bathroom floor.

"I didn't expect to find you in here," she said, then felt suddenly very foolish.

"Perhaps you wish to sit in the lounge?" he said, lowering his head again.

"You must be joking," she teased. "It's taken me too long to get you in here. Now I've got you just where I want you...... there's no way you're going to escape."

"I have no wish to ..... escape." he informed her.

"Good!" she said simply as she slipped the robe from her body.

Vincent just stared at her, unwilling and unable to take his eyes from the naked body of the woman he loved. He could not believe that all this love, this beauty was his for the taking. All he had to do was reach out, yet his arms seemed as lead, too heavy to lift, hesitant to claim the joy he longed for.

Almost of its own accord his body moved and he stood before her. When her hands came to rest against his chest it felt as if iron bands wound themselves about him, making it almost impossible to breathe.

Catherine began peeling layer after layer of clothing from his body, until he was left in only his trousers. The soft, amber hued, covering on his chest drew her hands as a magnet. Slender fingers stroked, soft lips worshipped, teasing, making him want much more.

Gradually, her hands unfastened, then slid his trousers down his legs. His legs refused to hold him any longer and he sat on the bed. Bending to remove his boots, Catherine trailed kisses down his legs. The boots were stubborn and Catherine felt all fingers and thumbs, so he bent to help her. Within seconds, he was as naked as she.

How his heart sang as he felt the joy flowing from her heart at the sight of him. How he had dreaded this moment, for he had believed it would bring only rejection. How wrong he had been, about so many things!

Walking around the bed, Catherine climbed onto the other side, his eyes followed her every move. She lay down and held her arms out to him, they were filled immediately. Vincent drew her body the length of his own.

He had dreamed of the feel of her naked body touching his, yet the reality was beyond even the wildest of dreams, and he wanted to feel the ecstatic joy he felt now for the rest of his life. To know her desire was only for him, was more than he could believe, more than he could have hoped for.

Catherine's insistent lips on his neck disturbed his thoughts in a most delightful way. He could sense the desire building within her, the need for him as it demanded his response. His hands moved over her, igniting fire wherever they strayed, driving them both onwards. Her breathing gradually became laboured as the need for their joining battled with the desire for the pleasure his touch brought. Vincent's lips wove their tingling way around her neck then downwards.

Catherine moaned in sheer delight as they closed, gently, teasingly around the hardening nipple he encountered. The soft, sucking motion forced another moan from her lips and she felt him harden against her in response. Then the other breast called to him, demanding the same pleasuring, and he willingly obeyed. Sensation followed breathless sensation as his mouth moved down onto her stomach, then on to seek other joys. Her legs parted eagerly as the long, raspy tongue plunged into the soft folds of heated flesh. Catherine's head swam, the room became hot and airless, she could hardly breathe as the ache within her focused to that one point where his tongue played erotic games.

"Please........." she begged, unable to bear the intensity of the pleasure he brought her.

In silent answer to her plea, he moved to kneel between her legs. Bending, his hands encircled her waist, and he pulled her towards him as he sat back on his heels. The space between them seemed to take forever to close, then suddenly Catherine felt the hardened flesh hovering just outside her body, begging entrance. The dark blue fire of his eyes held hers captive as he sank deeply into the welcoming warmth. That hypnotic gaze refused to free her own as he watched her response to his possession. He moved within her with a deliberate slowness increasing the penetration with each borrowing thrust.

Catherine longed to touch him to feel the power of his body, her hand moved down her stomach towards the point of their joining. Spreading her fingers wide, they slid between his flesh and her own, she gasped at the sheer size of him, the hardness, as he moved between her fingers.

Releasing her waist he too reached down and captured her fingers in his. Raising her hand, fingers still entwined, above her head, his great body leaned towards her as he sought and found the other hand.

Taking the bulk of his weight on his forearms he rested his body on hers, the tantalising texture of his chest rubbing against her thrilled her, raised her to heights as yet unknown.

Catherine's legs wrapped tightly around him encouraging a deeper penetration than either of them thought possible. On and on the rhythm took them, in a wanton dance of passion and desire. Catherine's mind seemed unfocused and confused as the realisation came to her, with sudden clarity, that for the first time she was actually feeling everything Vincent was. In this moment of fulfilment, the bond between them opened fully and they were truly one. She felt her body trembling, no not hers, his body. He was at the edges of control, plunging headlong into an earth-shattering climax, and he was taking her with him.

From somewhere distant her name came to her, a shout of triumph of completion, as from her lips the sound of his name winged its way to his heart.

Descending almost lazily from the impact of their shared release, Catherine curled into him as he moved to lie by her side. Replete and content he wound his arms about her in a gesture of protection and possession.

They slept for a few hours. Vincent awoke first, but his awakening roused Catherine from her rest.

She gazed at him in disbelief. "Vincent!" she whispered. "I felt you wake!"

"I know." he answered.

"Our Bond? It's changed!"

"I found it impossible to keep it closed," he confessed.

"You mean I have always been able to feel the things you do?" she demanded incredulously.

"I could never permit you to carry the burden of my innermost emotions, Catherine. Believe me, it could have distracted you, placed you in danger," he explained in a hushed whisper.

"So you have protected me from more than the dangers Above?" she challenged.

"Yes," he confessed.

She stroked his arm. "I do understand Vincent...... I really do. But will you promise me one thing?"

"If it is a promise I can give."

"Promise me that you will never refuse me the joy of our connection when we make love," she asked.

Vincent treated her to a rare grin. "That is a promise I shall be content to give Catherine."

Within her now, there was a chafing of disquiet and she instinctively raised her eyes to the window, to see the changing patterns which told her dawn was near. Catherine looked at Vincent and he nodded in acknowledgement of this shared sense of dawns approach.

"That too?" she asked.

"Even that," he agreed. "In this moment there is nothing we do not share."

"Then this sadness I feel, knowing you must return Below, is yours as well as mine."

"Yes........ but so is the love we leave, each with the other."

Vincent kissed her briefly then rose from the bed to dress himself in the lamplight. Fully dressed, wearing his cloak he returned to her side. Without a word he lifted her, pulled the covers from beneath her, laid her gently down on the bed, covered her and placed a very chaste kiss on her head. She reached for him, he stayed her hands.

"No Catherine....... it is not wise. Dawn approaches fast .......I would need little persuading to abandon all reason and take you to me once again." he explained.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" she asked hopefully.

Vincent looked at the sky. "Later tonight Catherine, another day is already upon us."

"Will you come here, or do you want me to come Below?"

"Catherine, I will meet you wherever you desire.... however we have little privacy Below." He held his hands out in a questioning gesture.

Taking a deep breath Catherine ventured "Then you had better come here, but I want to make love in your bed Vincent. I want us to be together Below."

Vincent looked shocked. Still closely connected, she could read the panic in his heart at her suggestion. Yet within that fear, she read clearly his hope that, one day, they would be together Below, and the confidence this knowledge gave her made her bold.

"You're afraid of what Father might say!" she told him accusingly.

"Below there is a very different world, Catherine. There are many things you do not yet understand," he tried to explain.

"There's only one thing I want to understand Vincent."

"And that is?" he questioned.

"What do I have to do to get into your bed?"

The unspoken possibilities running through his mind were no longer his alone. As the thought filtered through his consciousness and was about to be dismissed, she interrupted his reverie.

"Yes," she announced.

"Er.... yes.......what?" he asked not realising she knew that secret hidden wish.

"Yes... I think it's a good idea. No one could disapprove of you making love to your wife in your own bed now could they?"

"Catherine!" he admonished, blushing. "I did not mention the possibility. Should you not wait until you are asked?" he teased.

"You did ask!" she insisted.

"When?"

"Oh your mind may not have thought about it and you didn't say anything....... but......... I clearly heard your heart ask the question........ I merely answered it," she stated. Vincent threw his head back and laughed.

"What's so funny?" she asked, unsure of the humour in the fact that she had just agreed to marry him.

"Catherine, when I went away to think...... I saw Narcissa. She told me before seeking the answers I should find the right questions....... she also said I would find them in my heart, and in yours...... I didn't understand her at the time.........."

"And now?"

"Now I know both the questions and the answers. Catherine will you marry me...... will you come and live Below with me............... will you stay with me and love me............. for the rest of your life?"

"Only for such a short time?" she asked.

"How long will you love me Catherine?"

She reached up and kissed him tenderly.

"That long?" he replied.

"Oh longer, much longer," came her muffled reply as his lips found hers briefly.

Rising from the bed, he moved to the French windows.

"I suppose I had better go and tell Father. He will be quite surprised.”

“Oh I don't think so Vincent....... I don't think so."

He raised a questioning eyebrow. "Another secret Catherine?"

"Perhaps," she admitted.

"I can see I shall have to keep an eye on you two," he teased as he turned and disappeared into the grey light of morning.

END